Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
