dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
