Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
