If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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