You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
