then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
