need another drink. this is the easiest way
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
