If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
