I think scott just propositioned me for sex
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
third nipple confirmed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
