and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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