i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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