My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
