What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
