Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
