don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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