i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
