She said her name was "party"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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