Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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