So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
false alarm, still single
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