My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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