i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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