I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
