I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
