whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
