Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
