You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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