What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
