Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
