the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
