he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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