Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
