It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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