True but thats because hes a fetus.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
