Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
