Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
