Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
