We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
