I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I could make wine with my vomit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we're so committed to being not committed
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