I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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