I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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