yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I currently don't understand fingers.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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