Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
