...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
