Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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