Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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