He felt like a one man threesome
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Everyone says I win the strip club
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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