mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
