i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
