pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
