we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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