Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
