last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
