i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
