i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This toilet bowl is my home.
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